Heroine Complex by Sarah Kuhn

Author:Sarah Kuhn
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: DAW
Published: 2016-05-26T14:34:34+00:00

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I FLEW OUT of Nordstrom, zipping down the escalator, darting between shoppers, pushing my way out to the bustle of the street. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t think about the fact that I usually hated exercise. All I knew was I had to keep moving.

It was the exact opposite of what had happened during that long-ago library disaster, even though my emotional response was basically the same: pure terror.

No, back then I’d been the last one standing, rooted to the spot as rubble and flame and crumbling pages swirled around me in a cruel parody of an apocalyptic blizzard. Were it not for the campus firefighter who finally hoisted my shell-shocked body over his shoulder and hauled me from the building, I might’ve ended up forever buried underneath the stately grounds of San Francisco College, a bitter ghost haunting thousands of undergrads.

I guess underneath the fear, I’d still prided myself on my ability to stick around during a time of crisis.

This time? There was none of that. I just ran.

When my pace finally slowed and I took in my surroundings, I realized I’d ended up back at HQ. I crawled up the stairs to my room, changed into a raggedy tank top and pajama pants, and lay down on top of the covers. I made my brain empty. Blank. I didn’t want to think about what had just happened.

Ah, but that is like what happened after the library. You made yourself blank then, too. So blank you haven’t really felt anything in years—

Nope. Not going to think about that, either. Not going to think about anything.

I shook my head at the bothersome little voice in the back of my mind, banished all feeling until I was completely numb.

Eventually I heard voices, rustling around, the opening and shutting of doors. I kept myself still and quiet. I didn’t want to see anyone. I doubted anyone wanted to see me either. I stared out my bedroom window, studying every shade of the changing sky as San Francisco turned dusky and gray. I concentrated on counting the stars as they winked into existence, filled my mind with that task so I wouldn’t have to think about anything else. I was so immersed, I barely heard the knock at my door. I held my breath, hoping whoever was on the other side would go away. Instead the door creaked open and Nate appeared.

I sat up and stared at him. Maybe if I didn’t say anything, he’d leave.

“I have . . . I brought you . . .” He shook his head, as if trying to get the words straight. “Your neck.”

“You brought me my neck?”

“No.” He stepped into the room and held up a jar of something. “I thought you might have some bruising from that thing trying to strangle you. So I mixed up this salve.”

“Oh. Okay.” I couldn’t think of anything better to say. Words beyond that would require me to break out of my state of numbness, and I couldn’t let that happen.

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